literature

Thoughts...

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LadyBrookeCelebwen's avatar
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Literature Text

They wondered about him, he knew that. They couldn't understand why such a smart man, a genius some of them called him, would be that alone, but still be happy about it. And they didn't know that he really wasn't happy, that it was all an act that he put on, his last and greatest performance.

He had lost everybody now, there was nobody left that he could hold on to, that he could watch. Elrond's sons had finally sailed with their grandfather earlier in the day, and he was now all alone. Of course, they had never known he was watching them, that they were all he had that kept him from completely losing himself in his thoughts, his thoughts that just wouldn't shut up, and that kept replaying in his mind, tormenting him with everything that he had ever done or said that had caused others to disapprove of him, but really what else was there for him to hold onto? All the happy memories in the world couldn't keep his thoughts away. His singing was the only thing that did that, but when he sang, they came and he couldn't sing the sad songs, because then they wondered again, and he couldn't give into the thoughts when they were here because then they questioned him.

Was this why his father had thrown himself into his creations? To keep thoughts away, to keep them from tormenting him? If that was why, he couldn't blame his father for what he had done anymore. But he couldn't take that route, there was no evil to fight against, and he had no family left on these shores anymore. And he couldn't go home, home would just make it worse, all the places he had done something in would be there, and then his mother and his uncle and he could never face them again, because he didn't regret all of it, only some of it, and anyways, they wouldn't understand any more than these mortals did, about how the thoughts tormented him and there was nothing that they could about it. So he would stay here, and he would sing, and maybe one day somebody would understand him, because he had promised his brother that he wouldn't kill himself (and his brother was such a hypocrite, because he had killed himself).  Even though, maybe in death these thoughts would stop, but he couldn't. And so he sang, and he sang, and he sang, and that was all that kept them away, so he couldn't stop singing.
Alright...so there's so much I need to do, and yet...I had to write this. And I hoped it would help, but it didn't, so I guess I'll have to find something else....

It's about Maglor...of course, Maglor as I imagine him (and somehow, my favorite characters always end up messed up...)

...I'll try to get everything done.
© 2011 - 2024 LadyBrookeCelebwen
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montmartre96's avatar
This is so beautiful and sad! You did a really good work getting into Maglor's mind.